To quote the old Sinatra tune, you might be flying high in April, then shot down in May.

No matter who you are or where you stand in life, there are times you’ll be shot down. A heartbreak. A setback. A door that slams just when you thought it was opening.

When that happens, it’s easy to feel singled out by fate.

Yet nearly 2,000 years ago, the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius scribbled a few reminders to himself...

Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations is an anomaly: the personal diary of the Emperor of Rome, the most powerful man in the known world at the time, and it was never meant for publication. Here was the Emperor, struggling with himself, wrestling with the same everyday annoyances we all face. But in this inquiry, this relentless search within himself over years, Marcus Aurelius found genuine wisdom. So much so that his personal diary is now regarded as a philosophical text and one of the founding documents of Stoicism.

One of the most popular passages from Meditations reads:

"The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."

This statement encapsulates one of Stoicism’s core teachings: life will inevitably bring challenges, some good, some bad, most beyond our control. We can’t change this. But we can control our response. And so, Stoicism teaches that true happiness lies in cultivating virtue and that our troubles often stem not from events themselves but from our perception of them.

In Stoicism, the four cardinal virtues are:

One interpretation of Marcus Aurelius’ quote is that obstacles, with the right mindset, become avenues to practise Stoic virtues. Stuck in traffic? You can practise patience. Facing a tough situation? You can practise courage or self-control. Unemployed? This is an opportunity to practise wisdom. Seen this way, each obstacle offers a chance to better ourselves. Obstacles arent detours, they are dojos. 

Another interpretation is that crises awaken something within us that we may not have been aware of. Innovation thrives under constraints. Some of the greatest companies were founded during recessions. Crisis reveals what comfort concealed. As Ryan Holiday writes in The Obstacle Is the Way, the path forward requires three disciplines: perception, action, and will. Re-label the problem, move your feet, persist.

When you hit an obstacle, ask yourself: What part of this is 100% in my control?

That’s where your transformation begins.

What a Flying Elephant Can Teach Us About Ourselves

Stoicism gives us the mental tools to face obstacles with discipline and clarity. But philosophy can be too left-brained and doesn’t always reach the heart. For that, we often turn to stories, because stories reveal what logic alone can’t. And few storytellers understood this better than Walt Disney.

Walt Disney insisted that his movies weren’t just for children. His early animations, Snow White, Bambi, Dumbo, tap into universal archetypes that resonate with people across ages, cultures, and even eras. His gift lay in finding elemental emotional truths in a story: the journey from one state of being to another, showing empathy, self-understanding, and courage.

In Dumbo, it was his ears.

Re-watching the film recently, I was struck by how this little elephant embodied one of the great tenets of philosophy.

He’s born with enormous ears, and for that, he’s ridiculed and ostracised. In a heartbreaking scene, his mother is locked away for trying to protect him. Relegated to the circus clown troupe, Dumbo eventually discovers that his ears, once a source of shame, let him fly.

What once excluded him becomes his gift.

It was through his source of shame and sadness, his obstacle, that he found a way to fly.

Richard Branson has spoken about his dyslexia and how, in an era before the condition was understood, it made him feel “stupid” and like he didn’t fit in. But he also credits his dyslexia with shaping him as a businessperson, enhancing his empathy and creativity.

Like Dumbo and Branson, many of us carry traits that we’re taught to see as flaws. As a child, I constantly got into trouble in school for daydreaming, for being slow. These traits were sources of deep frustration and shame. But now, in my 40s, I see them differently. The daydreaming that once got me reprimanded is now the wellspring of my ideas, and my slowness has granted me a deeper perspective on life.

Our ‘obstacles,’ whether Dumbo’s ears or Branson’s dyslexia, don’t disappear, but they transform. What was once a source of discomfort can become the very thing that sets us apart.

We are all unique. Some of us feel like square pegs in round holes, struggling to fit the moulds society has cut out for us. What are the ways you spill out of the mould? What are the sources of shame or sadness that feel beyond your control? Could those be the very impediments that, in time, become the way forward? Could they be the “ears” that make you fly?

The very thing you once hid might be what makes you soar.

The obstacle doesn’t block the path.

It is the path

In this episode, of the Finding Meaning in Work Podcast, I speak with Bryony Cole, the founder of  Future of Sex and the Sextech School

We chat about sex, tech, rebellion, and the winding road to meaningful work. Bryony joins me for a wide-ranging conversation about how she carved out a career in a space that didn’t really exist when she started.

We talk about growing up in suburban Melbourne, navigating private school expectations, and the moment she traded being the “golden girl” for someone willing to take risks and ask the questions others were too afraid to.

Bryony shares how her curiosity, and a healthy dose of rebellion, led her from Lonely Planet to Microsoft to eventually launching a global platform on the intersection of sexuality and technology.

We dive into what sextech actually is (spoiler: it’s way more than sex toys), why AI is showing up as a wingman in dating and therapy, and how to navigate shame, stigma, and self-doubt when building something unconventional. This one’s for anyone figuring it out as they go..and finding meaning along the way.

About Bryony

Bryony Cole, the world's foremost authority on sextech, explores how technology influences our most intimate moments.

Known for her top-rated podcast Future of Sex, she advises governments, tech giants, and entertainment leaders on emerging sextech trends.

Cole also founded Sextech School, a pioneering pre-accelerator program, now in its 15th cohort, guiding hundreds of entrepreneurs and innovators in the sexual wellness and technology space.

Her innovative research and international hackathons have garnered recognition from events like SXSW, WebSummit and Founders Forum.

Featured in The New York Times, Vogue, and Wired, and seen on Netflix, Bryony's work empowers women and redefines the future of sexuality.

Today, Future of Sex is a central media and resources hub for the sextech industry.

Her vision is to create a world where technology enhances human connection, and she actively works towards this by shaping policy, fostering innovation, and advocating for sexual well-being.