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Luke the Custodian

Luke works as a custodian in a hospital. One day, there was an incident in the room of a comatose patient. Here’s how Luke recounted it: (edited for brevity)

“From what I heard, his son had been in a fight and was paralysed. That’s how he ended up in the hospital. He was in a coma, and it didn’t look like he was going to come out of it. I went in to clean his room. The patient’s father was there every day, all day, but he smoked cigarettes. He’d stepped out for a smoke when I went in to clean.

When he came back and saw me in the hall, he just freaked out, accusing me of not cleaning the room. At first, I got defensive. I was ready to argue with him, but something stopped me. Instead, I said, ‘I’m sorry. I’ll go clean it again.’

So, I went back and cleaned it again this time with him watching. I could understand where he was coming from. His son had been in the hospital for six months. He was frustrated. And I wasn’t angry with him. I just understood.”

As a custodian in a major hospital, Luke’s official job description includes tasks like operating carpet shampooing equipment, wet mopping floors, stripping and waxing surfaces, vacuuming, and picking up trash. Nowhere in the description does it mention patient care, empathy, or human connection. Based on the job description alone, Luke could just as easily be working as a custodian in a bank. Or a shoe factory.

But Luke wasn’t a generic custodian; he was a hospital custodian. If he had followed his job description to the letter, it would have been entirely reasonable for him to tell the father, “I already cleaned the room,” or escalate the issue to his supervisor.

Instead, Luke recognised that his official duties were only part of his real job. The more meaningful aspect was to ensure that patients and their families felt cared for, even in small ways. Luke saw his work as an extension of the hospital’s purpose: to care for people.

Aristotle, in his Nicomachean Ethics, spoke of the concept of telos i.e the ultimate purpose or aim of a practice. In the context of healthcare, the telos is to care for patients. This aim doesn’t prescribe specific actions but serves as a guiding principle. To act wisely in any profession, practitioners must understand and align with its higher purpose.

Practical skills are necessary to fulfill a job, but practical wisdom or phronesis, as Aristotle called it, is essential for making decisions that align with a job’s purpose. Practical wisdom deals with human affairs, things we can think through and make decisions about. We only deliberate over things within our control and that we have the power to change. It involves moral skill i.e the ability to perceive what is relevant in a particular situation, coupled with moral imagination, the capacity to foresee how various options might play out and to evaluate them.

Luke demonstrated both. He saw that the father’s frustration wasn’t truly about the cleanliness of the room..it was about the emotional toll of his son’s six-month hospitalisation. Luke’s moral imagination allowed him to recognise that cleaning the room again would not only address the father’s immediate concerns but also offer a small moment of reassurance during a very difficult time.

Rules are crucial in any job. They establish order, define responsibilities, and ensure tasks are completed. But blindly following rules without appreciating the context can strip our interactions of humanity.

Do rules and incentives really help if they stifle virtues like courage, empathy, humility, self-control, and kindness? True wisdom centers these virtues. It asks:

Wisdom also involves emotion, but as an ally, not an adversary. Emotions signal what a situation calls for, helping inform judgment when used appropriately. For Luke, following the rules alone wouldn’t have been enough. Cleaning the room again wasn’t part of his job description, but it aligned with the hospital’s telos. His actions demonstrated virtues like empathy, humility, and kindness..qualities that rules cannot mandate but that wisdom demands.

Wisdom as Craft

Wisdom, like any craft, requires training and experience. As Aristotle said, “People learn to be brave by doing brave things.” The same applies to honesty, justice, loyalty, and empathy, virtues cultivated through practice, not just theory.

In 2025 most of us work shoulder to shoulder with generative AI, algorithms, KPIs, and checklists. These systems keep us safe and efficient, yet life often throws up exceptions no rulebook anticipates. We spend our school years and careers being rewarded for mastering skills and following instructions, but AI now performs most rule-based tasks, so the quality that remains uniquely human is practical wisdom.

Luke’s story shows what that looks like. Through experience he learned to see beyond the immediate task of cleaning a room and to act in a way that served the hospital’s deeper purpose. His judgment transformed a routine chore into an act of care and connection.

Rules matter, but wisdom elevates.

This essay is adapted from the book Practical Wisdom by Barry Schwartz and Kenneth Sharpe

In this episode, of the Finding Meaning in Work Podcast, I speak with Bryony Cole, the founder of  Future of Sex and the Sextech School

We chat about sex, tech, rebellion, and the winding road to meaningful work. Bryony joins me for a wide-ranging conversation about how she carved out a career in a space that didn’t really exist when she started.

We talk about growing up in suburban Melbourne, navigating private school expectations, and the moment she traded being the “golden girl” for someone willing to take risks and ask the questions others were too afraid to.

Bryony shares how her curiosity, and a healthy dose of rebellion, led her from Lonely Planet to Microsoft to eventually launching a global platform on the intersection of sexuality and technology.

We dive into what sextech actually is (spoiler: it’s way more than sex toys), why AI is showing up as a wingman in dating and therapy, and how to navigate shame, stigma, and self-doubt when building something unconventional. This one’s for anyone figuring it out as they go..and finding meaning along the way.

About Bryony

Bryony Cole, the world's foremost authority on sextech, explores how technology influences our most intimate moments.

Known for her top-rated podcast Future of Sex, she advises governments, tech giants, and entertainment leaders on emerging sextech trends.

Cole also founded Sextech School, a pioneering pre-accelerator program, now in its 15th cohort, guiding hundreds of entrepreneurs and innovators in the sexual wellness and technology space.

Her innovative research and international hackathons have garnered recognition from events like SXSW, WebSummit and Founders Forum.

Featured in The New York Times, Vogue, and Wired, and seen on Netflix, Bryony's work empowers women and redefines the future of sexuality.

Today, Future of Sex is a central media and resources hub for the sextech industry.

Her vision is to create a world where technology enhances human connection, and she actively works towards this by shaping policy, fostering innovation, and advocating for sexual well-being.